I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Panties = found
Randomize
