It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
