Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
