I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
