We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
