This girl is more easily done than said...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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