Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
