sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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