Porn is love you can see.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He did a backflip because drugs
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