Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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