at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
