Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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