I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
