what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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