Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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