His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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