Don't you send me to vm
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
