Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
