Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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