Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
