Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
