Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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