Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
