My first STD was from a foam party
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
