hotel room ftw
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
