census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
