Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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