He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
