If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
