Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
