its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
