I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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