I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
