put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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