i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
