White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
