On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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