I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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