Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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