You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
