she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize