I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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