my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just pee around me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
