Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
