I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
