i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
