I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Randomize
