I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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