We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize