I just made out with a guy for $7.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
