is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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