It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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