ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize