SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize