i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
