I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize