I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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