How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
