i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
