this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
