mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
