Don't you send me to vm
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
