I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
