**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Two words: nipple clamps
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