It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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