he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Drunk is not a location!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
