Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize