my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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