so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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