dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
