i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize