Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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