I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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