i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
