It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
