Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize