dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
