I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize