I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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