did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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