You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
