You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize