Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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