Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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