Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize