At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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