No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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