You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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