I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
